Out of sorts

It's Tuesday afternoon. I'm home for the summer and very out of sorts.

Why? I'm wearing jeans and a fleece. The high temp. today was maybe going to be 60 and it's overcast. I'm just not digging this never ending bad weather. This is the time of year it is bee-u-ta-fulllllll in the Great Northwest and we all grin and scoff, "Rainy winters aren't that bad!" But we say that because the sun comes out and we enjoy a moderate summer with occasional hot days.

Now, to be truthful, we did have summer...for three days. Three days when it got hot and into the 90's. Dripping sweating, miserable...and then back to jeans and fleece.

The weather did keep my students from roasting in my third floor classroom and from looking longingly out the window and asking with puppy eyes, "Puh-leeze, Mrs. G, can't we go outside???" (A great field trip in theory...until the logging trucks start rolling by and discussion is impossible.)

Which brings me to my second reason I am out of sorts. I cannot figure out what is the new normal with so much transition! Working. Mommying. Learning the combination of the two. And just as I start to get it, I'm now making another transition back to stay at home mom for another 10 weeks. I feel like I've jumped up out of the hot tub into the cold pool and back again!

Teaching is an intense job, no way around it. Working for three weeks allowed me to reconnect with my students and meet a few new faces. One of the new faces asked me if I was the sub for the sub and I told her her with a grin, nope, I'm actually the teacher! I had several good laughs with students, including a wide-eyed student who begged me not to get upset about his self-described "insensitive" visual aid for Swift's "A Modest Proposal" which was a place setting with a baby for dinner. It was appropriate for the story, and quite funny to me.

I also had tears. Particularly during the senior assembly when I got a glimpse of our family sitting in a gym 18 years from now watching Georgia graduate. I held it together (mostly because I was sitting in a gaggle of freshmen boys who would never let me live it down if I cried) during the video of baby pictures and a reading of the Dr. Suess book Oh! The Places You'll Go, which is my favorite book to read to Georgia. But I lost it when I watched a young woman walk across the gym and reflected on the incredibly courageous choices she has made in her teen years. Then I was a laughable mess by the time the staff tunneled them out and I hugged another young lady who is very dear to my heart. I wasn't sure she would make it and she is on to pursue a future that will still be difficult but successful. I hope I can raise a daughter with character like theirs.

Becoming part of the "parenting club" added great dimension to the relationships with my colleagues. There is a bond of respect and grace that parents extend to one another stemming from understanding. It's really quite nice to feel supported in a new way. Humility is a virtue of utmost importance...I could only shake my head and laugh when the handful of staff who took turns covering my class during breakfast began calling themselves "The Pump Patrol" and needed to show up for "Lactation Duty." I won't even go into trying to explain without explaining to students why they couldn't come see me during lunch........

I also made a new friend named Shell. He is 73 and loves to share Jesus as he works a minimum wage job pumping gas. The man is joy. He knew just what to say to get my day started and reminded me of my ultimate purpose here on earth. We all need these encounters.

I have a lot to figure out...namely dinner at this point and then I'll be on to how I'll spend the next few days and then on to sorting out summer and then on to figuring out with Noah the next steps for Team Gusy.

Having a child sure does change everything. Thank goodness.